How to Support Your Friend: What to Say When A Friend Comes Out As Lesbian or Bisexual

When a friend comes to you with something as personal as their sexuality, it's important to be supportive and understanding. It's crucial to listen without judgment and let them know that you are there for them no matter what. Avoid making assumptions or asking invasive questions. Instead, offer your love and support as they navigate this aspect of their identity. For more tips on being a supportive friend, check out some helpful resources online.

It's a big moment when a friend comes out to you as lesbian or bisexual. They are trusting you with something deeply personal and important, and it's essential to respond with love, support, and understanding. It's also natural to feel unsure of what to say in such a situation, but with the right approach, you can make your friend feel seen, heard, and accepted.

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Here are some tips on what to say when a friend comes out as lesbian or bisexual:

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Acknowledge their courage

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When your friend comes out to you, it's important to acknowledge the courage it took for them to share this part of themselves with you. Let them know that you are honored that they chose to confide in you and that you appreciate their trust.

You might say something like, "I'm so grateful that you felt comfortable sharing this with me. It takes a lot of courage to be open about who you are, and I admire you for that."

Express your support

Your friend may be feeling vulnerable after coming out, so it's crucial to express your support and acceptance. Let them know that you love and value them for who they are, and that their sexual orientation doesn't change your relationship.

You could say something like, "I love you just the way you are, and I'm here for you no matter what. Your sexual orientation doesn't change how I feel about you."

Avoid making it about you

When a friend comes out to you, it's not the time to make it about yourself or your feelings. Avoid saying things like, "I always knew," or "I'm fine with it, but my parents might not be." Instead, focus on your friend and their experience.

It's important to listen and validate their feelings, rather than making it about your own reactions or concerns.

Offer to learn more

If you're not familiar with the LGBTQ+ community or issues, it's okay to admit that. You can offer to learn more about their experience and the challenges they may face as a lesbian or bisexual person.

You might say something like, "I want to support you in any way I can. If there's anything I can do to educate myself and be a better ally, please let me know."

Reassure them of your confidentiality

Coming out can be a scary and vulnerable experience, and your friend may be worried about who else knows about their sexual orientation. Reassure them that you will keep their confidence and respect their privacy.

You could say something like, "I want you to know that I will keep this between us unless you give me permission to share with others. Your privacy is important to me."

Be open to their feelings

It's natural for your friend to have a range of emotions after coming out, including fear, anxiety, and relief. Be open to listening to their feelings and validating their experiences.

You might say something like, "I can imagine this is a lot to process, and I'm here to listen and support you through it. Your feelings are valid, and I'm here for you."

Final thoughts

When a friend comes out to you as lesbian or bisexual, it's a moment that requires empathy, support, and love. By acknowledging their courage, expressing your support, avoiding making it about you, offering to learn more, reassuring them of your confidentiality, and being open to their feelings, you can make your friend feel seen, heard, and accepted.

Remember that your friend is still the same person they were before they came out to you, and your love and support can make a world of difference to them. Embracing their truth and being there for them will strengthen your bond and show them how much you value their friendship.